


Shut Up and Drive

by e_r_i_n



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Pre-Slash, Trans girl Kenma, kiss, thieves and hitmen au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2015-02-23
Packaged: 2018-03-14 19:07:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3422240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/e_r_i_n/pseuds/e_r_i_n
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukki likes messing with people and Kuroo is a smitten thief.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shut Up and Drive

Your name is Kuroo Tetsurou and you're pretty sure this guy is going to kill you. This will be how you die. Sitting in front of a hot blonde dude with a bag full of cash. Great way to go. 

The glasses-wearing blonde stared you down from the drivers seat.

"Who the fuck are you exactly? And why, may I ask, did you jump into my car covered in dirt and scream at me to drive? Because, unless you give me an explanation, the only place you'll be going is into the hands of those cops who, I can only assume, are chasing you." 

Well, fuck. You just had to choose the one guy who would ask questions after being screamed at like that. But you're getting desperate and this is no time to be fussy. 

Scrambling for words, you say, "Look, uhm, if you just get us out of here - like, right away would be good - I'll give you, uh, 5 percent of the cash that's in the bag. Sound go-"

"Make it twenty and we have a deal." 

"Wh-... huh?! Do you know what I went through to get that cash?!" 

"Do you know what I'm going to go through to get your sorry ass out of here? Better decide, they don't sound too far away." 

This guy... He was fucking smirking! That asshole! But it was true; they were getting closer by the second. 

Weighing your options, you groaned, saying, "Ugh, fucking fine! Just get us out of here, you damn megane!" 

"Says the guy who looks like a rooster." The megane muttered, while pulling out of his parking space and driving quickly down the street.

"I didn't choose to look like this!" 

-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

So, not only was this guy rude, but he didn't talk. Like, at all. 

An hour. That was how long you'd been driving so far. And he had barely spoken a word. You were so bored. The sound of sirens had faded into the background over fourty-five minutes ago and by now there was no sign of the cops anywhere. 

The adrenaline from the break in and the chase afterwards had quickly worn off with nothing better to do but stare out the window and watch as you weaved between cars on your way out of the city. 

One of the few things he had asked was where you wanted to go. You told him that you had a meeting point a few hours out of the city and gave him some rough directions. Of course, it had crossed your mind that this guy could be an off duty cop, or just a loyal citizen, but even if he was you could probably overpower him easily enough. And you hadn't seen him move his hands from the steering wheel since you left, so there was no way he could've contacted someone. 

"Hey, you never actually told me your name." An amber eye slid over to gaze at you as you shifted uncomfortably. Damn, that guy has one icy stare. 

After a few moments he turned his eyes back to the road, not answering your implied question. You pouted as he said nothing. 

"... Tsukishima." You grinned as his quiet voice reached your ears. 

"Tsukishima, huh? Soooo... Tsukki!" 

Tsukki's frown was immediate as he clicked his tongue. "No. Tsukishima. Don't call me Tsukki." 

"Heh, whatever you say, Tsukki. I'm Kuroo. Kuroo Tetsurou." 

The blonde raised an eyebrow in uncertainty. "Should you really be telling me your name? You just robbed a..." 

"Law firm." 

"Right. You robbed a law firm. I could very easily rat you out after I get my cut." 

Snickering at his tone, you said, "Well, it wouldn't exactly matter even if you did. It's not like this is the first time I've done this. I'd be surprised if they didn't already know my name." 

Obviously puzzled, Tsukki stated, "I thought anonymity was a large part of crime." 

"... Well, I guess for other people it is. But this is the first time I've gotten that close to being caught so I've never needed to be careful with that stuff before."

"But... Can't they track you just with your name?" 

"Hehe, that's what I got Kenma for." At his confusion you continued. "Kenma is... Well, first and foremost she's the best hacker you could ask for. She can get into practically anything. But besides that, she's been my best friend since we were kids. Back then she was a totally different person... In more ways than one. 

"But, we grew up together and now, with a few other people, we're one of the best thieving groups in the country. She does all the technical work while we do the physical. It's actually a really good system. I'm kind of proud of our achievements, if I do say so myself." You chuckled. 

"So, what happened this time that went wrong?" 

Slumping in your seat dejectedly, you sighed. "Well, normally we use the guard routes as a kind of map. You know, what areas to avoid at what time because there will be a guard there? Well, apparently, this law firm had changed up their guard routes recently and hadn't yet updated this in their system files, so Kenma had no idea. This was a solo job because it wasn't meant to be that hard but I barely got out of there." 

"So, it was actually thanks to the company's own incompetence that you were almost arrested?" 

"Yeah, pretty much. Buuuuuut, anyways. Enough about me. What do you do, Tsukki?" 

"At the moment? Nothing. I used to work at a museum but after some artefacts were stolen while I was on duty I was fired." 

You froze in your seat. "Uh- uhm... When- when exactly were these artefacts stolen? And, uh, what Museum was that?"

Narrowing his eyes at you, he answered. "July 2nd. At the Tokyo Museum of History. Why, Kuroo-San? You wouldn't happen to... Know anything about that, now would you?" 

Gulping at his cold glare, you practically shouted, "I am sooooooooooo sorry! I didn't know it would get someone fired!" 

Tsukishima's knuckles were turning white at the strength that he gripped the steering wheel with. "So, you're telling me, that you, a professional thief, not only are forcing me to drive you to some check point over three hours away, but also managed to get me fired two weeks ago? Kuroo Tetsurou you are treading on thin ice. If you weren't giving me twenty percent, I would've dumped your pitiful ass off of this very bridge we're driving on.

"That job, Kuroo-san, was one that I had to work for. I went to university for three years solely to get a job there. And you, in a single night, managed to fuck that up royally." 

"I'm sorry! I didn't know that that would happen! I... I'll -uhm... I'll give you thirty percent, instead!" 

"Deal." 

Wait... What? 

You lifted your head from where you had turned to bow in apology. And Tsukki was smirking. More than smirking, actually. His shoulders shook as his held a hand over his mouth to keep himself from laughing.

"Uhhhh..?" 

Apparently, your oh-so-intelligent words of wisdom were the last straw. Tsukki broke out in laughter, eyes squeezed shut as he held his stomach in mirth. You looked on in confusion and slight appreciation. Who would've thought that the megane had such a nice laugh? Although you still didn't see the joke. 

"You -oh god- you're so fucking easy to manipulate!" The blonde gasped while trying to stop his laughter. 

Huh...?

You continued to gape even as he grew silent, wiping stray tears from his eyes. 

"You really thought I hadn't heard of you? That whole thing about getting fired? That was a lie. But that doesn't matter now, seeing as you agreed to give me thirty percent. Who knew that the infamous 'Black Cat' was so easy to guilt trip?" 

"You... You fucking asshole! I was so fucking worried that I had actually gotten you fired!" You yelled at Tsukki indignantly. He had the fucking gall -and apparently talent for deception, because not many people can trick you like that- to lie straight to your face and make you feel like shit?

"Hah, it's not my fault that you're gullible." He smiled slyly at you as you sped through the countryside (having left the city a few minutes ago). "I guess I should reintroduce myself, huh? Tsukishima Kei, part of the Karasuno Hitman group." 

"... You're a fucking hitman?!" So, scratch that part about being able to overpower him. 

"Don't worry, if I wanted to kill you, you'd have been dead the moment you opened the door of the car." There's a predatory look in his eye now and you try to pretend that that isn't hot as hell. "I needed some cash and didn't feel like taking a job. But then look up who showed up on my doorstep?"

"Your knight in shining black mission gear?" 

"I was thinking more along the lines of a rooster who never stops crowing, but whatever."

"You're so rude, Tsukki!" 

"Thank you."

"It wasn't a fucking compliment!"

-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

"Kuroo-san, we're here. Wake up." 

A strong hand shook your shoulder as you drifted into consciousness. 

"Hmmmm... Tsukki? Where are we?"

You were parked in what looked like a driveway. It was pitch black around the car but in the light of the headlights you could make out the silhouette of a house a few hundred meters away or so.

"Apparently, this is the place. I took the liberty of taking my share of the money while you slept, so you can go on in."

Your sleep addled brain processed his words slowly as you looked at him, bathed in yellow from the overhead light. Looking at the radio clock, it was about two AM. 

"Oh, uh, yeah. Thanks, Tsukki. I'll, uh, see you around, I guess?" 

"Bye, Kuroo-san." 

Turning around, you fumbled for the door handle before grabbing your bag and stepping out. After making it a few meters forward, you halted in your tracks as you thought of something. Spinning on your heel, you dashed back to the car, this time walking around to the driver's side. Rapping on the window quickly, you caught his attention from where he was texting someone. (Yama-something, you couldn't make it out from there.)

Raising an eyebrow at you, Tsukki rolled down the window. 

"I just realised that I forgot something. Mind if I get it?"

"Kuroo-san, if it's yours then why would I care?"

"Ooooh, that's good." You laughed, dropping your bag on the ground before cupping his face in both hands. Crouching down, you leaned in 'til your lips were almost touching. At no resistance from the blonde (although his eyes had widened almost comical amounts), you reached forward the remaining distance and pressed your lips together. 

It was nothing fancy, simply a chaste press before you leaned back and smirked. "Since you didn't care, I guess that means that you're mine, huh?"

Blushing wildly and averting his eyes, Tsukki replied in an annoyed voice, "Goodbye, Kuroo-san!" 

Rolling up the window, Tsukki put the car into gear at record speed before reversing out of the driveway and speeding away. You were left standing there, bag still on the ground, a dumb grin on your face before a feminine voice called out from the house, "Seriosuly, Kuroo?" 

Still smiling, you grabbed the bag and made your way to the house, where Kenma and the rest of Nekoma were waiting. Trudging up the porch steps and into the house, you collapsed on the couch, dumping the bag in Kenma's arms for her to count the money. 

After about ten minutes of silence, Kenma spoke up. "Kuroo? Why is some of the money missing?"

"Hmm? Oh, that. Tsukki made me pay him for giving me a ride."

Kenma raised an eyebrow. "Tsukki? As in Tsukishima Kei? Part of Karasuno?" Figures she would know who he is. 

"Yup. I jumped into his car and made him gimme a ride. 'Course, I didn't know he could very well kill me, but whatever."

"... Don't you think you should've given him a bit more?"

"... Wait, what?" Sitting up, you questioned, "How much is gone?"

"From the looks of it, about five percent."

"Kenma?"

"What?"

"I'm gonna marry Tsukki."

"Pfft, good luck. You do realise that he's a hitman, right?"

Sighing, you say dreamily, "Yeah, I know. Trust me. I know."

You can practically hear her eye rolling. 

-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

"Hey, Kuroo? What's that written on your neck?"

"Hmm? I have something on my neck? What is it?"

Yaku sweatdropped. "That's a phone number."

The force of your smile could've blinded someone that night.


End file.
